Modesty Schmodesty

Let me just start off by spouting some current myths:  guys will only go after what is easy to catch, guys are only attracted to what they can see, a girl’s greatest asset is her body, skimpier equals sexier.  Wow, where do I begin?!?  Can we please start giving guys a little more credit?  Men will rise to whatever standard we hold them to… Are you wanting a Guy or a Gentleman?  Don’t sell yourself as easy, make yourself worth the effort it will cost him to win you over. Ladies, men have extraordinary imaginations. Just think about the toys little boys prefer… They are mostly imagination driven. They actually like a little mystery when it comes to a lady… Why take all of their fun by dressing with all of your business hanging out for the world to see?  We have so much more to offer than just a body or a pretty face. Make the world take you seriously and notice all that you are and have to offer. Stop selling yourself short. Skimpy is not always sexy. For instance, a 12 year old girl wearing Bootie shorts and a half shirt in public is not sexy, it’s criminal. As the mother of two daughters I fear for their sense of self and decorum. Growing up in this world of skewed propriety, I want them to understand modesty and why it is important, not old fashioned. As the mother of a teenaged son, I fear for his soul and his heart as he has to guard himself against daily temptations thrust upon him by the girls who don’t think twice about putting themselves in his path inappropriately. Young girls only like the attention but lack the knowledge of the bigger picture concerning what their actions do to men all around them… Not just teenage boys but married men also who are lured into impure thoughts by their outfits and cries for male attention. Moms need to think about these things. Some of these same women complain about the young secretaries at their husband’s offices strutting around in tight, short skirts and open blouses. Funny how their teenage daughters are leaving the house in far worse things to go to school or to the mall. What about the men they are tempting?  We need to all pause and think about the images we are putting out there… Are we hurting anyone by dressing this way?  Could this outfit cause anyone to stumble?  If there is any possibility of a yes, just change and wear something else. Protect your image and don’t ever let your clothing be the center of any man’s lust (unless that man is your husband). Even if he is your husband, save the racier outfits for his eyes only. Can we make modest the new trend?  I hope we can try. 


“I’m sorry that I look like a total slob today!”…. Up for interpretation I guess

That moment when you lie in bed doing algebraic equations and long division with your eyes closed as your alarm on your smart phone glaringly ticks off the seconds remaining on your snooze alarm… Days since last hair washing, divided by days of dry shampoo subtract any outings to especially exotic smelling establishments… You get the idea. Ugh, realization that the last possible moment has arrived for you to remain in bed if a shower is possible… BUT, if you wash said foul hair but don’t flat iron it, how much time will that buy you in the sack?  Reality?  Now you have spent the entire “extra sleep” time wrestling with your inner self and doing complicated beauty math. However it ends up working out, now you are rushed for time to get ready for that lunch date with a friend absent these last 3-4 months. Here it comes… The text message that (I think) we all send preparing our friend for how we are going to look. This is first of all an apology of sorts, at least I see it as one, for valuing my time in bed more than looking presentable to them out in public. This text also gives them the option to dress it down a bit and not go all out. Most of all, I think this text is our way of begging that our friend not show us up and make us look even worse. Ok, so here I am deciding if my hair, after DAYS A, B and C could possibly have a D day left in it by any miracle. That’s bad enough… But do not think that I would not style this funky hair, or wear make-up and a cute outfit. If my hair is lacking then you better believe I’m going to do everything I can to distract your attention away from that fact.  So that’s how we roll… We make excuses but still look better than when we rolled out of bed. 

This brings me to my question… What is wrong with these girls today???  On a daily basis I see girls out in groups wearing grubby t-shirts with athletic shorts (in nice restaurants), hair in complete dirty disarray and no make-up between the bunch. Now, I’m not saying go to the gym looking ready to compete for Miss Texas but don’t go to Miss Texas looking ready for a softball game either. My momma always said for me to wait to start wearing make-up until I was ready for the responsibility because once you start it is part of your daily hygiene routine. If you don’t want to wear full make-up then at least wear the trinity (blush, mascara and lip gloss). Stop complaining about being single or treated badly by boys if you aren’t willing to act like ladies girls!  There is a difference between the two. Just as there is a difference between a man and a gentleman… I guess you have to decide which you want and how long you want him to be attracted to your appearance. Love isn’t all about physical attraction… That would be a real travesty, but so would a lack of physical attraction in your relationship. Take care of yourself and put that out there for all to see… You owe it to yourself and to those around you. The best test of how you are presenting yourself is to ask yourself these questions:  Do I ever need to text my friends to let them know I’m not arriving at my best?  How have they come to expect you to arrive?  


That thrill that sends chills and the nail biting suspense of waiting, praying that yours is the winning bid… After searching shoe stores across the great state of Texas and every online fashion shoe site known to lift a girl’s steps, FINALLY a shopping website came through like shoe manna from heaven. There they were, the dream booties… Unfortunately, online shopping does not satisfy with immediate gratification so the anticipation only fueled my infatuation. Days spent stealing glances at pictures of my shoes and who they were with or what they did when they weren’t with me…Followed by the endless nights dreaming of the countless new outfit possibilities now afforded by this, the most perfect of perfect black, low cut, closed toe, Bootie with the ankle bow accent. Day and night ticking off the minutes until I could finally introduce my lonely feet to their long lost “sole mates”.  Yesterday I received a text that my booties would be arriving today and that I would have to sign for their arrival. I was at first very impressed by this grandstanding for their long awaited arrival… I thought only I had understood the great significance of this moment. Then the bomb was dropped on my parade planning – signatures are required for international packages. Wait!  That can’t be right, my delightful little booties are traveling from abroad while disguising themselves as domestic. I’m confused. Don’t panic I tell myself as I begin to unpack my new outfits that orbit the black booties. Well, today was delivery day and as I opened my carefully wrapped package from some small province in China, my heart sank. There in white faux muslin lay the worst imposters ever imported. The shoe liner was so wrinkled inside I would have developed a blister before reaching my front porch. The ankle bow accent wasn’t even glued together and the back zippers don’t stay zipped while simultaneously pinching your heel flesh. I can safely say that I have never bought an imported imposter that I was pleased with or thought it was better than the real deal. At once my mother’s words of warning popped into my head, “You really do get what you pay for”. I think even when people complain about designers and say that you are only paying for their name that means something… If their name is worth that much and they put their name on it, then it better be worth it!  No more imposter imports for this girl. Lesson learned.